Troll 2 (1990)

I am in no way a connoisseur of terrible cinema. Sure I've beheld the cinematic atrocity that is Plan 9 From Outer Space because one simply kind of has to. I focus on seeing films that are supposed to be good or sound good, but I have to admit it is refreshing to see an awful film every once in awhile, if only to remind me why those other films actually are so good. If excellence is the norm then you quickly become hard to impress, until you witness something so horrible that you run back into the arms of Tokyo Story because now you feel it is a masterpiece compared to what you just saw.

But here's the thing about most "bad" movies: they are unforgivably boring. MST3K has remedied this problem by adding their uneven though often funny commentary to the lowest budget films in existence. But these films, if viewed without all the smart assery, would bore you to tears and you would more then likely switch them off after half an hour. The truly best of the worst actually somehow manage to entertain you on some perverse level, and keep you entertained throughout the entire thing.

Think about it. The worst films you've ever seen are films that made you angry and are films you would never consider watching again. They are usually films that upset you on some level, or just simply bore you to tears, or rape your senses. You don't think of the worst film ever with pleasure, you think of it with disdain, you try and erase it from your memory.

Troll 2 is certainly nowhere near the worst film ever made. But it is the best worst film I have ever seen. The acting is awful, the plot pathetic, the dialogue dreadful, and the effects abominable. All these elements come together to create a film you truly have to see to believe it exists. It's so bad, its actually enjoyable somehow.

And I think one of the key elements to Troll 2's success is that the plot actually moves. Scenes are not drawn out, there are a variety of characters to keep the film from dragging (especially when the protagonist is so vexing). The film makes up the rules as it goes, and while normally I would be offended by this, here I was fascinated.

I don't really want to get into the specifics of the plot, or point out the characters, or anything like that. I'm actually somewhat disappointed in myself for watching Best Worst Movie, the documentary made by Troll 2's child star about the cult following the film has developed, because it spoiled some of the delights the film contained (though certainly not all). Best Worst Movie and Troll 2 make a good double feature, and which one you watch first is irrelevant; though the film does show some of the best scenes, it leaves one of the most over-the-top characters off screen for you to discover for yourself. But make sure you watch the films together. They make a good companion piece.